I swear I didn’t name him so that I could do this, but I plan to take full advantage

I am Jack’s broken mother.

Just in time for the holidays, (and I say this without irony-my husband is a teacher, and he’s got a nice long break coming up, which will become a working vacation for him if I’m unable to do fine motor things) the arthritis is apparently back. It’s been so long that I’d almost completely forgotten what days are like with limited mobility. (That phrase reminds me of the commercial for the little scooter thing that the company swears Medicare will pay for, “or you keep it for FREE!”)

I think I’ve been in denial (shocker!) since mid-October when my inflammation and pain inexplicably disappeared, and then didn’t return when I started (and kept on and on) eating the worst possible diet. I sailed along, not gaining back the weight I lost while on the juice fast, blood sugars normalized, enjoying life, as it were. Oh, I’m not completely living under the sand. I know that rheumatoid disease is recurring. I know remission doesn’t last. But my last remission, if we are to believe that the first instance of joint inflammation and pain was my first “flare”, lasted two years, give or take. I was hoping. Mercifully, I’m really not feeling that terrible. The worst part of the last few days has been some neck tightness that may or may not be related. The NP at the new Dr. office gave me a scrip for a neck X ray but didn’t date it, so that I can decide whether to pay cash or wait for insurance to kick in (please, please insurance! Help me!). “RA Absolutely can affect the neck”, she said, grimly. “When I taught pharmacology to nursing students, I hated this section because really the only advice you can give is ‘don’t get rheumatoid disease!’ There’s just so little that doctors can do.”

And on that happy note, she hit her sample closet for some sleep aids, muscle relaxants for my neck, and wrote me several prescriptions, one of them for an anti-depressant that’s only 4.00 a month now. (“You might need this as time goes on, in addition to treating the pain and inflammation-this disease is very depressing!”)

Not much to do now but wait, and hope I never lose the ability to come up the stairs. I love it up here. I promise to post pictures tomorrow. No really, I will.

• Celebrate! Celebrate! Dance to the music!
• pain, my old friend
• all hail western medicine and the old-school doctor
• omg again