Filed under: not fair:
When my husband is sick, he calls in to work. He stays in bed all day to recover. He pads around in a bathrobe, watches movies, checks email when he can no longer stand being in bed.
When I am sick (or any mother I know, for the record) on a weekday, my husband goes to work, of course. I do what I always do: today is laundry day. I cooked breakfast and lunch for my toddler. I made the phone calls on my list. I will put away groceries when my friend (BLESS HER OH GOD FOR SAVING ME AT LEAST FROM THE HELL THAT IS THE GROCERY STORE WHILE SICK AND WRANGLING A TODDLER) drops them off. I will fold dry clothes; I will wash the dishes that have been in the sink since Saturday morning.
When my husband gets home, thankfully I’ll retreat to the bedroom and nap. He’ll cook dinner because he has the time and is a good dude. He’ll deal with the baby until my dad comes to take her for a ride. I am lucky in that respect.
This is not a reflection on my husband, of course, Internet. It’s not his fault he has sick days to use. It’s not his fault he doesn’t have enough to spread around. There are perks to my job. I work in my pajamas, for one.
I propose a benefit package for Primary caregivers. Perhaps an amount of money set aside each year for the purpose of hiring a sitter on days when the Primary is too sick to care for the children. Or the same money set aside to defray the costs of absences-without-pay on the part of the breadwinner, who might then stay home on days when the Primary is sick, and take care of the Primary’s jobs for the day.
This will never happen, and so the pharmaceutical industry continues to make commercials showing the mom climbing out of bed to find the entire kitchen in a state of chaos, her sheepish husband standing amidst the debris covered in flour and dust and badly-prepared food. Oh no! What will she do? Why, she’ll dose herself with stimulants, of course! And tonight, when she really NEEDS to get some sleep because hello, that laundry doesn’t wash itself, she’ll dose herself with NyQuil or Banadryl or some other product designed to treat symptoms and prolong the actual sickness.
Well. I reject this model. I will soldier through it! I will use homeopathy and steam and sleep as much as I can. I say this of course because I have the luxury of being a mother of only one small child at this moment, and when I picture what it must be like in my friend’s house, the one who has 5 children under 7 years old, when she is sick, I get the shakes. Moms out there: how the hell do you manage? Are we simply stronger as our family grows? Are we simply stronger than anyone else on the planet anyway?
What do you do when you’re sick, and your partner goes on to work? What happens when YOUR partner is sick? Do they take a sick day? Let’s discuss.
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I don’t have a partner. When I’m done being sick, we move. lol
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stronger as our family grows.
yup. or at least more creative! like the snack tray idea- you do what you have to do to ensure everyone’s survival for that. one. day.
the electronic babysitter does overtime (yes! you CAN watch every DVD we own!) and you just make it through.
but you know what? i get sick way less than i used to also, and J *never* gets sick. it’s like our bodie just know that it’s not an option.
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hmm. I wonder if people who can’t afford to get sick (due to no benefit package or no child care or whatever) just simply get sick less than the rest of the world.
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Oh! And M doesn’t get sick either. I think I remember him missing work once because of illness since we have been married. That’s 7 years!!!!
Now we will both come down with something horrible tomorrow
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I don’t get sick. It must be in The Plan. If I do….I call you!
If I get a migraine I make a bed of quilts on the LR floor and muster up the courage to arrange a snack tray while puking in the kitchen sink. Break out the juice boxes and the kids destroy the house while nothing else gets done.
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