Today is not a Good Parenting Day. It’s no secret. We all have Good Days, and Bad Days. There are days when the TV is on for 9 straight hours, even if the person who is supposed to be watching it is scaling the Christmas tree by way of a shoebox stacked on the ottoman and a bridge built of pillows and hardback books. There are days when the only food served in the house is crackers. There are days, more so lately than before, when people under the age of two are served coffee with sugar and milk for the sole reason that people over the age of two are bleeding from the ears because of the shrieking that is a result of refusing coffee to the Littlest Demon. Some days, everyone in the house wears pajamas all day long, and sometimes just a shirt and some dirty socks. This is That Kind of Day.
Don’t get me wrong- we have the Other Kind, occasionally. The wake up, make the bed, dress everyone as if we might leave the house, put on makeup and brush hair kind of day. Once in a while, the van leaves the driveway before 4 p.m. Sometimes, the sun shines on the skin of Little People, and occasionally, a playground is involved. I try to be REALLY awesome on those days, because I want her to remember them when she grows up. “Please,” I pray to no one in particular, “let THIS be what she remembers. Please don’t let her remember me in bed for 7 hours straight, and don’t let her figure out that it’s NOT really too cold to go outside!”
I can usually track the BPD (that’s Bad Parenting Days, folks) back to one or two events early on in the day, or by projects on my plate and my rate of procrastination regarding them. In this case, we have a combined way to early wakeup time (6 a.m.) with a necessary nap (for both of us) from 8:45 to 11:15, plus a project on a deadline which I should have worked on while Little People were sleeping, but didn’t. Since I had to switch from caffienated coffee to decaf (mostly), mornings are All fatigue, All The Time.
It’s mostly my fault. About a hundred years ago I took on a project, for friends. They’re slow in feedback, and I’m loathe to Take the Initiative and guess what they will like, partially because the going back and changing things I’ve already done makes me pissy. So it’s been months and months and now it’s time to finish the project, they are selling the business and the Never-ending Website Project has now become an Urgent Thing on their to-do list. If they weren’t Very Good Friends, I would have pointed out that I told all my clients that I was taking the month of December off, and maybe even referred them to someone else to finish their thing. So, the Very Good Friends part combined with the part where we really need the money means I am working on a complicated project during the Holiday Hell Season, minus child care and second naps. Yay me for deciding now is the time to transition Tiny Demon to one nap a day instead of two! “We need this!” I said. “When she sleeps only once a day, we’ll be able to get out and enjoy the brisk but not too chilly Florida winter!”
Yeah. So here we are, rattling around the house in pajamas, eating potato ships and crackers, drinking coffee. Tiny Demon found a pacifier and even though suckies are for bedtime only, I am giving her this one small pleasure, because I am consumed with guilt for yelling at her earlier when she grabbed at my coffee cup, and for confining her to Inside when obviously Outside is where she wants to be, but I can’t see the laptop screen when we’re Outside, and I have to finish this fucking website so that we can buy more crackers and coffee.
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you know, potato ships! you can cover them with bacon and cheese and sour cream and then put up a toothpick/lettuce sail…
pretty good save on the fly, no?
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What are potato ships?! Thanks for the band name, tho! See here…
http://the-band-name-game.blog.....lost.html.
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