An excerpt from tonight’s dinner conversation:
This is not a capitalist house. we are not dog eat dog in this house. It’s not every man for himself; we are a collective, we each put in and we each take out. Right now the resources you’re using do not balance out with the work you’re putting in, and that’s putting a strain on all of us. There will always be periods of imbalance, but there cannot be sustained drain in one direction.
As you may have guessed, TeenHer is toeing the line between “I’m a rebellious girl with ambition and drive” and “I’m king of the world! FUCK IT!” and we’re all of us in the family suffering for it. The littles mainly because I’m such a RAGING BITCH right now that I can’t even function from lack of sleep and just general dissatisfaction with how this is all working out, and every time they defy me or climb on the counter or like tonight, REFUSE TO GO TO BED I get a picture in my mind of me, grey haired and walking with a cane, opening the door at 3 a.m. to find them drunk on the porch making out with a high school teacher (that’s not what happened with TeenHer by the way) and then I just want to pull a “hey I’m going out for a pack of smokes” (or in my case, Doritos, donuts and a coke which is my new go-to stress meal and let me tell you there have been quite a lot of donuts in this house this last few weeks. I’m not proud.) and get the fuck out of Dodge.
So. Bear with me please while I work to restore balance and harmony to my person, because it’s sure as fuck isn’t happening in my house.
I will always bear with you, mama.