Is it wrong that I perversely wish for a moment that I would be telling you all about her first fistfight, and uploading unflattering pics about the other guy?

In this case, I am the other guy, and we think the injury was sustained when we fell down a flight of stairs together back in 1994. This is the Summer of Healthy Behavior, if you hadn’t noticed, and so this week we have a CT scan, allergy skin testing, and a follow up with the ENT who last week informed us that TeenHer has a deviated septum, she has at some point broken the inside of her nose all to hell and we might not have noticed when it happened because she’s such a badass, and the injury was inside.

Later after the CT scan we’ll talk about the surgery and how much better her life will be when she realizes her bathroom really does smell disgusting, it’s not just normal parental injustice. The ENT informed us that often deviated septum causes the same symptoms as allergies, and we should hope for the septum but go on with the scratch test, which we did today.

“the septum we can fix”, he said. “If she has allergies too, that’s a forever thing”

And then we came home and hugged the cats and dog. Her cat and dog numbers were big. Almost as much as dustmites, which was another biggie. I researched all afternoon and this evening, and since TeenHer has taken the stance of “it’s my body and if I want to live with it, that’s my choice. NO GIVING AWAY THE ANIMALS” we’ve settled on a multi-tiered approach:

Good (expensive) covers for the mattress and box spring
much more frequent washing of bed linen in hot water
HEPA air cleaner for her room
No animals in her room, ever

Weekly baths for the dog and possibly both cats
daily brushing of dog and both cats, outside

My needle-phobe teen has opted out of the weekly shots.

I’ve heard of people taking these measures and going on to live happy lives with their animals. Anyone? Who has a lovely story to tell me?