Lest you come away from my last post with the mistaken impression that our lives are charmed, blessed, or otherwise tidily wonderful, let me share with you a few things that happened in our world today:
Smashed a ginormous roach with a rolled up coloring book.
Was hit in the face with roach guts.
Roach, still alive, crawled up my husband’s arm when he went to dispose of the body.
An hour in the shower didn’t make me feel clean enough, so I spent some time on the windows. They fold in for cleaning! The fact that I discovered that little trick this week will out me as a person who has not cleaned their windows, um….ever. We moved in last December. My husband and I liken the view out the sliding glass door now to getting rid of analog in favor of high-def. I am excited, impressed, and embarrassed. Made New Year’s resolution to clean windows before they reach the point where one can no longer see through them.
Mystery insect (or arachnid) bit Jack today, shortening his nap by about an hour and leaving huge pus filled blister in the middle of about 4 inches of angry red bumpy skin. Blister popped leaving an open sore on his foot. His very sweaty foot, which will not hold a band-aid. In the end, I put a band-aid on it and a sock over the top. Now I will obsessively check on him all night, for fear that he will somehow remove the sock, put the band-aid in his mouth, and choke. Considered the idea that possibly a ghost is hurting my son. Wondered aloud whether TAPS would come set up infrared cameras in his room and how much that might cost.
Prompted by murderous rage toward mystery insect, I spent the next several hours on my hands and knees with rags and a bottle of vinegar spiked with Purification (rumored to kill spiders-sorry, spiders.) Found exactly one (already dead) spider in his room, but it was on the other side of the room from the bed. Came to the conclusion that our floors are foul. Like really, really, really foul. I confess that I knew this already and that I’ve used up almost an entire bottle of OxyClean since the boy learned to crawl, treating the knees and toes of all his sleepers for stains. I almost took a picture of one of them today but was too embarrassed to show you. Instead I’m telling you. Trust me, it’s worse than you’re imagining right now.
Cleaned the floors of exactly 2 rooms and one hallway in 2 hours. Upon inspection, noticed they are still dirty. WTF?
Discovered scratches on new laminate floor can be erased with magic eraser!
Remembered Kerflop’s experience with magic eraser and freaked out that Jack will put his mouth where I used Magic Eraser and burn his face.
Tried to erase Magic Eraser residue with rags soaked in Vinegar and Thieves Oil.
Remembered that I have 2 hours of web design work tonight, sat down to take care of it, and decided that instead I should update the Internet on what I did with The Lord’s Day.
