Tonight we realized (hi Michael, my name is Tape Measure!) that the shower enclosure we’ve bought is too large for the space allotted. It seems like a simple thing, right? You’re thinking: just get a smaller enclosure, dumbass. Except there isn’t one. There is no such thing as a 32-inch corner shower enclosure, says Google. (prove me wrong, internet!)
And with that, our plans for the holiday come to a screeching halt. Not so much a halt, really, since people already have plane tickets and plans have been made. After all, Christmas is in what, 3 weeks? And we’ve been working on this project since June. No, I guess what I mean by screeching halt is that now, now that there’s carpet and paint and drywall and a cute little pocket door, now we’ve got to tear down the bathroom wall and re-frame the door three inches to the right. What I’m wondering, what we’re ALL slapping our foreheads wondering, is why are there three extra inches on the wrong side of the doorframe anyway?
Well, I can answer that one. Because we didn’t wait for my dad to do the project. Because we hired out the work, and the people we hired don’t spend several hours thinking of every possible contingency before they put up a wall. They just say “where do you want this wall” and then build it where you tell them. Did we tell them we were putting in a 34-inch shower? Actually, I’m pretty sure I did say 36 inches. But did you say 36 inches in the rough, because that would have left only blah blah blah you are a dumbass you are so impatient and stubborn why did you waste those thousands of dollars instead of just waiting for me to show up how important is it anyway to have all this extra space now you have to heat and cool It what’s the big deal your downstairs was plenty big larger families live in much smaller places all the time starving children in china don’t have showers at all what are you complaining about.
Did you hear that? That was the sound of what I imagine my dad’s voice to be when I’ve done something stupid. Bless him I never hear anything like this, ever. It’s ALL in my insecure head. That being said, we have one shower and no options outside tearing a wall down and five houseguests expected for the holiday.
Help me.
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