My teenager is a strong willed kid, and it’s no secret to anyone who knows her that she absolutely and positively does not believe. She’s not on the fence; she’s not exploring her options. She’s not a believer, period. For a while she was going to church anyway, because that’s where her friends are on Wednesday and Saturday and where her parents are not. But then the minister talked shit about reproductive rights and homosexuals and made her exit.
The Fundies are out in force again, luring children into the fold with ice skating parties and Pizza Wednesdays. “It’s not like ACTUAL church”, she said to me today. “It’s just people hanging out and eating junk food, and so I think it would be OK. Plus, if I’m going to be on the Other Side, shouldn’t I get some exposure to their Way?”
“If you want exposure to their faith, child, you can go to Church on Sunday and listen to the sermon. You can get up early and hit the bible study beforehand.”
Why am I so hostile about Pizza Wednesday? This is just how they build their army, right? And it’s a fundamental part of their faith that they must save the souls of all sinners, and bringing them in for Pizza Wednesday and Ice Skating weekends and Water Park Fun Days is just a tool, just a way to bring in kids and show them that Christians are cool and do cool things and eat cool food and Jesus totally loves them for it. I believe in tolerance, right? I wouldn’t deny my daughter her right to explore her options, right?
The thing is, I’m not opposed to the method.
Hell, my early teen years would have been a train wreck had I not been invited to Roller Skating Sunday, where I met my future boyfriend. (I have a whole ‘nother post about you, dude. It’s a good one) That year I went to more movies than I had in my whole life so far, and the next summer I was at Jesus camp when I accepted my Personal Savior and made a commitment to the Lord. When my friends were getting wasted around me and screwing guys in the Dunes, I was witnessing to drunks on the boardwalk in Jacksonville Beach and making Christian Rock mix tapes for my boyfriend.
TeenHer is different. She’s never going to believe. Not ever. So my hostility is really a combination of things. I resent that the only fun and safe place for my teenager to spend time is Church. And a teeny little bit, I resent my teenager for not being totally grossed out by the idea of hanging around a place where every single person in the room is at direct odds with her politics and fundamental core value system.
I don’t want to deny the kid her time with friends. I don’t. But does it have to be Pizza Wednesday at the Anti-Gay woman hating church? Can’t we have Pizza Thursday at our place? They can read Stephanie Meyer and discuss who they’d rather be stuck in a closet with- Edward or Jacob?
I know we’re in the minority here in our tiny town, I read the bumper stickers (“If this flag offends you, then you need a history lesson! Abortion Stops a Beating Heart!”- and those are just my family’s vehicles) We’re our own little island of culture and radical politics. I just wish things were a little more evenly matched for TeenHer. I mean, these kids are sporting anarchy buttons and shopping at Hot Topic. They’re dyeing their hair blue and wearing safety pins in their noses. Would it be too much to ask for a few- just a few here or there- to match their politics to their clothes?
I think I would probably fit squarely into the category (hopefully anyway, I like to think I’m fairly progressive) of Believer but open-minded and accepting of others regardless and from the sound of it, I think I would have to shrivel up and die if I lived where you live.
Coming up against the Fundies was a worry when we moved out here from Idaho (I live not too far from Jerry’s Kids, I mean Lynchburg and Liberty University) and was a little concerned about people trying to convert me when they found out I wasn’t a member of the tribe.
It hasn’t been near as bad as I had feared, but it is still an interesting culture. Must just be something about the mix of the South and religion.
I hear you, man.I would have the same concerns as you. But she has had such a phenomenal upbringing by such a rad woman that no amount of pizza wednesday’s will change that. She is a smart fucking kid. And tolerant. She has me beat.
I know coming from me, this will probably make you spit your coffee… but I am with you on this one. I resent it too that the only place kids can go safely is church… and that same place will try to shove rhetoric down their throats.
I wish there were some sort of place of worship around here that accepted everyone, regardless of their personal beliefs, color or gender, or what they do in the privacy of their own homes; and did their sermons in a teaching sort of way instead of a hellfire and damnation sort of way. And wasn’t so fucking in-your-face fanatically religious. Does that make sense? Hah… never around here, though. We only thought they picketed against Adam and Eve. (No pun intended!) Guess you can have your cake… and don’t even think about eating it. Not in the Bible Belt.
I’m going to be looking for THAT post!
It’s working, I promise.