Oh Holy Crap. It’s been almost a year since The Thanksgiving from Hell, and we still haven’t finalized our plans for this year except to say Not A Family Dinner, no way, not ever again.

I should mention  that over the summer my mom and I had a very short conversation during which I realized I misunderstood most of my parents’ actions last Thanksgiving and so now I feel all warm and fuzzy and like my dad really DOES love me, and my mom really WAS sticking up for me but that’s not enough to make me sign up for that party train again this year.

So what should we do? Internet, I think YOU should decide what our family does for the lamest of holidays this year.

Hey! Maybe we’ll be moving our shit upstairs that weekend! Did I forget to tell you that the drywall is done and the painter is coming to spray primer on Saturday? Holy shit but TeenHer is about as excited as a 13 year old ever allows herself to be in front of adults. That poor child has been sharing a room with a three year old (ok, the three year old does sleep in our bed) for a year now and even I think it just sucks. Her floor is littered with LEGOS and broken nightmare before Christmas figurines. She’s had to pack up all her important shit in order to save it from ruin; I bet she doesn’t even know what she’s got anymore.

I’m INTO my room. My bedroom has to be perfect, the right color, snuggly bed linens, good light, and all my favorite stuff around me. The thought of having my most lovely things packed away in boxes for a year makes me physically shudder. I know people (hi Dad) think I’m pushing unreasonably to get this attic project done but I have my reasons. I know my child; she is my second half, a piece of my soul staring back at me (towering over me, now) and I know that this nomadic life is killing her. When she fantasizes about college, the kid envisions her apartment and her furniture and how she’ll decorate the walls. Going to bed every night on that top bunk in that lavender/green 10×10 cell packed wall to wall with toddler toys- no wonder she has black circles under her eyes. I could never relax within that kind of chaos.