I don’t know how I will make it through the next several months. I don’t like babies. Or something. I’m lower today that I’ve been in a long time, and there’s no reason for it. This is what I try to explain to people who ask. That one day, you can wake up and be a different person. One day you can clean your house and do laundry and hug your kids. And wake up the next day paralyzed. Unable to nurture, to make eye contact, to relate. Unable to function. Unable to write.
THIS is my life. This is who I am, who my family must adapt to. Do they wonder, when they wake up in the morning, who will greet them?
Yeah, man. This is the battle. What can you do when you can’t get the energy to answer to anyone? And all you want to do is sit in silence, alone? Shit. You are not the only that feels this way…((Summer))
I am growing to understand this more and more too- especially as our family has grown and the work becomes so overwhelming some days.
I can understand you now, more than ever. My life is in this great upheaval and one minute I’m ok, one minute I’m laughing and the next I’m on the floor drooling and sobbing and wanting to die.
Some days I wish I never had kids or a partner, some days they make me happier than I could ever imagine.
I hear you.