Monitoring today. Yesterday and last night were filled with uncontrollable contractions. I was delirious with pain. I sleep in 5 minute intervals. This has been the case for over a week.

• Contractions validated on the monitor, every 2-3  minutes.
• Cervix: Completely effaced and short. No dilation.
• Love from the OB: zero. I was released to come home and instructed to call if I have any spotting or my water breaks
• They will not repeat the amnio
• I was told to make an appt ASAP to see the OB, so I drove to her office. Heard her talking about me, how they’d already checked me at the NST and there’s nothing she can do, schedule me an appt for Monday. I sat in the waiting room crying while they giggled about her choice of lip gloss today, before someone came to get me to send me home, yet again.

I am at the end of my rope and I hope there will be a lot of family here after this thing is born because I feel no connection to it anymore. I am ordering a case of formula today. I plan to leave after this is over, for a while. My mind has finally broken.