offline, off  my rocker, off track.

Off to Atlanta

On the road

Over my online life

Under a bad sign

In a weird space

Out of patience and confidence.

I say this without humor: it’s good that my daughter will be on this trip with me. because I have a feeling I’d just keep driving.

Can Progesterone cream be doing this to me, or have I lost my mind or (worse?) can it be that I really am horrifing and neglectful?

I want out. I want not to be getting up in 5.5 hours. I want to go alone and stay in a hotel alone and skip the doula training. I’ll never actually be one, anyway. I want to open a credit account at Ikea and spend irresponsibly. I want to go to a spa alone with a book and have the birthday I wanted.
I want, I want, I want. People everywhere want shoes and some fucking rice and I want like a rich girl. I want like a teenager. Fuck, when I was a teenager I wanted healthy pets and world peace. I want like a 4 year old.

What I want is to appreciate what I have with some fucking regularity. I want to be grateful. Do I have to lose everything to get that?