For now I’ll just leave you with this:
I awoke this morning with these images in my head: me, climbing out of a pool where I’d just ruined Spurgeon’s triathlon swimming win (and he had won, by a large margin) because I’d disqualified him by being in the pool with him while timing his laps, and this older lesbian couple who I was staying with, one of whom was the therapist from Grey’s anatomy, could have warned me that this would happen, but did not. Instead of slinking off in humiliation I confronted them politely. I was still humiliated even though, Lance Armstrong style, Spurgeon, who had won a million trophies already, was gracious. I was sort of mad at the guy who “won” because really. His time was like 40 seconds shorter. He should have come off the 1st place slot. He won off a technicality. Spurgeon for his part wasn’t mad at me. Why not? I didn’t stick around to find out, because I had a much worse nightmare to slip into.
RIGHT before I opened my eyes, a guy was having his clothes torn off with little hooks and in front of a window. He was saying “wait a minute, I thought that question was rhetorical?” and the torturer, who had already done some other heinous shit which now thankfully I cannot remember, said “no. I really meant I wonder what it’s like to have your clothes literally torn off your body”. So he hooked ropes and….something to this dude and put him in front of a huge window with… wind? on the other side. I got the impression the guys clothes were about to be ripped off his body.
That was also my fault, somehow. This scene was preceded by all grades of horror scenes. I mean Hellrasier shit, but mixed in with buildings and images from my past. wtf.
Today’s theme is guilt. What lesson should we take from this morning’s dreams?
Well, let me enlighten you…I learned that my subconscious mind is active.
I learned this sort of answer from Phil Jackson, who last night answered a a reporter this way:
reporter: Phil, last game at the end of the first quarter your team had over 30 points, and tonight your team has 23, what’s different about tonight?
Phil: Last time we had 30, and tonight we have 23.